The End of Dignity (*Best for Female Eyes Only*)

I found it. About two weeks ago. This also happened to be the day when my father's first cousin, Terry Duckworth, found himself stuck at LAX for a twelve hour layover, and came to spend the day with me.

As I hopped in the car to get him from the airport, I was already making plans for our day. Little did I know that things would NOT go according to plan.

I decided to take him to Palos Verdes, a beautiful city South of Los Angeles, to show him a Frank Lloyd Wright Jr chapel, and the Trump National Golf course, two popular tourist spots.

The day started beautifully. There were no weddings in the Wayfarer's Chapel and so we were able to get in and look around. The scenery was gorgeous.

Next we went to the Trump National Golf Course, and walked around the beautiful grounds overlooking the ocean. Soon it was time for lunch and Terry treated me to a very posh lunch at the Trump Clubhouse.

'Round about that time, I started to feel a little uncomfortable. Now I had paid pretty close attention to my body and the baby all morning while we were touring around. I was sure to drink lots of water and sit and rest when I needed, but now something different was going on.

I excused myself to the restroom and was sure when I got there that my waters had broken. Ironically, every person I would have called was unavailable. My mother was in Maui, celebrating her 30th Anniversary with Dad. The two friends who've recently gone into labor and given birth were either out of town or working. And my doctor's line was busy.

I did the only thing I could think of. I went back to Terry and told him calmly, "I don't want to alarm you Terry, but I think I need to make a visit to my doctor's office."

We got to the doctor's office, and were immediately redirected to the Labor and Delivery section of the hospital. Poor Terry had to cart me around and then shuffle off to a waiting room. I'm sure that is not how he had envisioned spending his day in LA.

Meanwhile, the nurse strapped me up and ran a series of test. After two hours she returned triumphantly. My waters did NOT break. I was NOT going into labor. I had probably just wet myself.

This my friends, is the end of dignity.