Procrastination

On a Sunday nearly two years ago, I sat in service day dreaming about all the ways you could use poetry in worship. Lo and behold, this summer,while sitting at a Mosaic leadership meeting someone handed me a new ministry with poetry and theater combined. They called it Spoken Word and they told me to lead it, dream big, and basically do whatever I wanted with it. It's astounding. I feel puny, but psyched too.

My mind has been spinning with many ideas. Right now, I'm working on my second Spoken Word project. It will involve dance and poetry. It sounds REALLY cheesy, right? I mean, it's almost enough to make me stand up, adjust my barret, and start snapping, but when I mentioned this idea to the leader of the dance team, she said, "Cool." And I was given four very talented writers who said, "Sounds good."

I feel like I told someone that I wanted to drive to Arizona, and they gave me five Feraris to get there. I have these amazingly talented people to work with to execute my idea.

In light of this fantastic opportunity, something very strange has taken over. Procrastination. I mean, I have everything I need. And yet, I panic everytime I sit down to work on it. I check myspace. I twiddle my thumbs. I listen to music. I pound on the piano for a while. I doodle drawings. I sit at the computer, staring at my writer's rough drafts waiting in my inbox. I walk away and leave the poems for one or two days before I finally get up the courage to read what they've written.

It's not that they're bad. Far from it. I'm working with Ferari's, people! This should be easy, right? I should be revving up everyday to tackle these projects and watch my daydreams come true. So why on earth do I freeze up like a popsicle on a winter day?

Tune in on January 7th for the results. My success or failure as a leader will be podcasted to 18,000 people at www.mosaic.org. :-/