God has given me the most beautiful baby girl. With each day I love her more and more. He's also given me the most amazing husband and family members! Without them I wouldn't have survived these last two weeks.
I've had an exceptionally rough recovery. This past week I've been to the ER twice, one of those times in an ambulance. I don't feel like rehashing the details, but I'll just say it had to do with infections and blood clots and all those strange things that can complicate a new mother's recovery.
Just after my second ER visit I had to follow up with my OBGYN and so I took my weak and exhausted body, my sweet newborn, and my mother-in-law off to the doctor's office. While sitting in the waiting room, feeling so weary, I heard "Fire and Rain" playing over the speakers. For the first time ever I truly listened to the second verse and it made me cry:
"Won't you look down upon my Jesus/ You gotta help me make a stand./ Just gotta help me through another day./ My body's aching and my time is at hand./ I can't make it any other way."
The night I went to the ER in the ambulance, the only words I could find to utter over and over were "Jesus please help me. Jesus please help me." He did help me. He looked down on me and helped me. I'm better today. I feel a little more whole. I'm so grateful. I've felt so close to Him in the middle of such physical need.
As I reflect over these last two weeks an image comes to mind: me as a small bird, crumpled and broken, laying in the palm of God's hand.